This is the very perfection of a man (woman), to find out his (her) own imperfections.
~Saint Augustine (amended by Titina – it was not perfect…)
As this traditionally celebrated Month of Love comes to a close, here are a few of my own reflections that I hope will serve to spark a little deeper awareness.
I have been exploring the month of February from the predominant standpoint of Loving Oneself, a Self-Valentine of sorts. More bubble baths, dates with oneself, giving to oneself as a lover would, sensual exploration of self, etc.
But I have discovered something else. This “loving oneself” business is one big Band-Aid to cover up a bigger truth I have been avoiding: there is no other person, no activity, no identity, no outer achievement that can plug up the holes of a leaky sense of Self.
When I worked in the jewelry trade in London, I used to clean up batches of metal castings. Occasionally, I would come across pieces that had a large hole caused by a bubble in the molten metal during the casting process. Those repairs were painstaking and cumbersome. The hole had to be drilled out further, a silver wire plugged in and soldered in place, then the repaired spot had to filed, buffed and polished to look like nothing was there. Like this jewelry patch-up, repairing the holes may look purposeful, but the hidden flaw remains since the original casting of the piece. In time, when the piece tarnishes, the filled-out hole may start to become visible on the surface of the piece. At this point, there are two choices: re-melt the piece and start all over again, hoping for a more perfect casting, or learn to accept, even love, the “wabi-sabi-ness” of the piece, thus elevating it to a different, perhaps even more sacred, kind of beauty.
I have reached a stage in my life when these flaws and plugged up holes are coming up to the surface and becoming visible (at least to me). I cannot find it within me to re-polish the surface. The fight has gone out of me and instead I am left with a bittersweet surrender that seems to flow with the conflict, aikido-like, to neutralize its dark power. The loss of this polished identity feels very scary and yet strangely comforting at the same time. I can see, that with time, I will be able to present to the world humbly and yet proudly, a treasure which was crafted, shaped, worn down, tarnished and buffed by time and bumpy experience, the flaws in its manufacture a unique feature that contributed to its pricelessness – a Soul Piece.
SOUL SEED COLLECTIVE is a (hopefully) monthly blog on thoughts and ideas
Titina van Hoorn is an artist, jeweler, life coach, energy healing practitioner, lover of words, dancer, mother and soul-seeker, who feels passionate about exploring the journey of the soul with all of its twists, turns and mysteries and supporting others who have chosen this rich path.
For more information on Soul Piece Jewelry go to www.soulpiecejewelry.com
or visit the Soul Piece Jewelry page on
This month I have been enamored by the work of this writer and contributor to Soul Work. Articulate, deep, mystical, she has written a book called “Belonging”, from which I continue to harvest many gems.
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