Birds of Paradise

Birds of paradise grayscale seed


Some birds are not meant to be caged, that’s all. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too sweet and wild. So you let them go, or when you open the cage to feed them they somehow fly out past you. And the part of you that knows it was wrong to imprison them in the first place rejoices, but still, the place where you live is that much more drab and empty for their departure.

Stephen King, Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption: A Story from Different Seasons


In the beginning, you came as a faint echo from far away.  You flew in on a gentle breeze that awakened fierce longings lain dormant for a long time.

You glanced at me. I was ruffled but maintained a coy distance. A mysterious dance of fluttering, hopping, swooping and display.  You beckoned me to fly with you.  And, in a joyously reckless moment, I launched into the unknown, abandoning myself to the call of the wild.

We soared together on sweet-smelling updrafts of delight, giggling and breathless like children, then free-falling in ecstasy.  Finally at home in our very own lush Garden of Eden. For a while, we nested in this intoxicating, dense greenery, shaded from bright sunlight and harsh elements.

But the pull of gravity was always there, reminding us that this garden was forbidden to all but the Gods, and that the abyss was never too far away. What had looked like a double helix of joyful soaring now resembled a dogfight between predator and prey. I chased you in angry despair, you evaded me in painful confusion and shame.

And then you were gone. Where were you?

I saw you reappear and then disappear again through the clouds in the horizon, but I did not follow because somehow I knew I had to let you go. Rich, vibrant color and beauty faded to monochrome gray.  Gravity slowed me down to small, heavy steps that sometimes took such effort that I had to curl up in hibernating sleep. Where was I going?  I didn’t know. The sky felt vast and I felt so small and lacking in direction.  Relentless showers beat down on me and washed layers of grime and grit.

One day I woke up to the pastel light of exhausted peace. You were a faint echo once more. A freshly-scented draft caressed my face and I drew a deep breath that filled my body with clean air.  I spread my wings carefully and found myself lifted into the blue void.

In this new place, I noticed sweet, subtle smells, my eyes caught tiny brilliant flowers nestled in the cracks of the open landscape below me.  The wind lifted me lovingly, as if to remind me that it had been there all along to carry me.  I twirled and danced for the simple joy of it.  This Big Unknown had a presence in it I had not felt before. Your absence no longer felt like a gaping void in my heart, just a soft, beautiful sadness. Moments of gratitude trickled into my heart – you left me so I could feel the Big Love that exists in the simple sacred fact of just Being. I knew that I had done the right thing to let you go.  Love did not have to be chased.  It had never left me.

This is a very personal piece I wrote last year which, only now, did I feel had reached its time to be  published. I hope this speaks to those of you whose soul journey has traveled through the cracking open through heart break to reveal another world.


SOUL SEED COLLECTIVE is a (hopefully) monthly blog on thoughts and ideas

by Titina van Hoorn from  spj logodark silver nuff sm

Titina van Hoorn is an artist, jeweler, life coach, energy healing practitioner, lover of words, dancer, mother and soul-seeker, who feels passionate about exploring the journey of the soul with all of its twists, turns and mysteries and supporting others who have chosen this rich path.  She can  be reached at or in Facebook on her Soul Piece Jewelry page.


There are times we need a meaningful TOUCHSTONE to remind us who we truly are and where we want to go during those parts of our life journey when we appear to be lost or in darkness…

My  upcoming “Seed of Potential”  workshop may be for you if  you are interested in creating a talisman for your own sacred soul journey.

For information and tickets, click on the image below:

SoP RebeccaSeed of Potential workshop tickets on Eventbrite


A Self Valentine


This is the very perfection of a man (woman), to find out his (her) own imperfections.

~Saint Augustine (amended by Titina – it was not perfect…)

As this traditionally celebrated Month of Love comes to a close, here are a few of my own reflections that I hope will serve to spark a little deeper awareness.

I have been exploring the month of February from the predominant standpoint of Loving Oneself, a Self-Valentine of sorts.  More bubble baths, dates with oneself, giving to oneself as a lover would, sensual exploration of self, etc.

But I have discovered something else.  This “loving oneself” business is one big Band-Aid to cover up a bigger truth I have been avoiding: there is no other person, no activity, no identity, no outer achievement that can plug up the holes of a leaky sense of Self.

When I worked in the jewelry trade in London, I used to clean up batches of metal castings.  Occasionally, I would come across pieces that had a large hole caused by a bubble in the molten metal during the casting process.  Those repairs were painstaking and cumbersome.  The hole had to be drilled out further, a silver wire plugged in and soldered in place, then the repaired spot had to filed, buffed and polished to look like nothing was there.  Like this jewelry patch-up, repairing the holes may look purposeful, but the hidden flaw remains since the original casting of the piece.  In time, when the piece tarnishes, the filled-out hole may start to become visible on the surface of the piece. At this point, there are two choices: re-melt the piece and start all over again, hoping for a more perfect casting, or learn to accept, even love, the “wabi-sabi-ness” of the piece, thus elevating it to a different, perhaps even more sacred, kind of beauty.

I have reached a stage in my life when these flaws and plugged up holes are coming up to the surface and becoming visible (at least to me).  I cannot find it within me to re-polish the surface.  The fight has gone out of me and instead I am left with a bittersweet surrender that seems to flow with the conflict, aikido-like, to neutralize its dark power.  The loss of this polished identity feels very scary and yet strangely comforting at the same time.  I can see, that with time, I will be able to present to the world humbly and yet proudly, a treasure which was crafted, shaped, worn down, tarnished and buffed by time and bumpy experience, the flaws in its manufacture a unique feature that contributed to its pricelessness – a Soul Piece.


SOUL SEED COLLECTIVE is a (hopefully) monthly blog on thoughts and ideas

by Titina van Hoorn from  spj logodark silver nuff sm

Titina van Hoorn is an artist, jeweler, life coach, energy healing practitioner, lover of words, dancer, mother and soul-seeker, who feels passionate about exploring the journey of the soul with all of its twists, turns and mysteries and supporting others who have chosen this rich path.

For more information on Soul Piece Jewelry go to

or visit the Soul Piece Jewelry page onFacebook-logo-PSD

Recommended links:

This month I have been enamored by the work of this writer and contributor to Soul Work.  Articulate, deep, mystical, she has written a book called “Belonging”, from which I continue to harvest many gems.

Toko-pa Turner

belonging book



sop collage

Do you want to experience planting magic in your life and seeing it grow?

Uncover your soul’s purpose and create a talisman to carry with you at all times in your personal journey with Soul Piece Jewelry’s

Seeds of Potential

Perfect as an affordable gift for yourself or loved ones, these “seed” pendants are created in fine silver (on a sterling silver chain) with custom symbols and words to plant in your world as reminders of what you are wishing to grow.

It includes a one-hour coaching session to explore what it is that you want to manifest in your life. 

For more information CLICK HERE. Or contact Titina van Hoorn 

Thank you for this very personal piece of jewelry that I wear almost every day. I love it!      ~ Hillary Sunada, Seeds of Potential customer.

Healing the masculine and the feminine

Make yourself a cup of tea or coffee and sit down in a cozy, comfortable place for this one….

Flowing goddess seed

In my exploration of the journey of the Soul, I have been fond of (well, kind of) digging into the areas that one would usually like to leave alone; the shadow, the dark recesses of my psyche that I would have a hard time admitting, even to myself (let alone have an awareness of their existence – more later on the illusion of projection….). The Soul fascinates me because it admits all things into its broad umbrella of “Journey”. Our limited vision as humans gives us the tendency to label things as good or bad, pleasant or disagreeable, worthy or not, but it has been through my personal work in life coaching that I’ve had a physical/emotional experience of surrender and peace when those “dark” things have come up and when I have admitted them as valuable pieces of myself. Misguided in their expression at times, their admission into my awareness has born fruit and ultimately brought freedom to my being.

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