Birds of Paradise

Birds of paradise grayscale seed


Some birds are not meant to be caged, that’s all. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too sweet and wild. So you let them go, or when you open the cage to feed them they somehow fly out past you. And the part of you that knows it was wrong to imprison them in the first place rejoices, but still, the place where you live is that much more drab and empty for their departure.

Stephen King, Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption: A Story from Different Seasons


In the beginning, you came as a faint echo from far away.  You flew in on a gentle breeze that awakened fierce longings lain dormant for a long time.

You glanced at me. I was ruffled but maintained a coy distance. A mysterious dance of fluttering, hopping, swooping and display.  You beckoned me to fly with you.  And, in a joyously reckless moment, I launched into the unknown, abandoning myself to the call of the wild.

We soared together on sweet-smelling updrafts of delight, giggling and breathless like children, then free-falling in ecstasy.  Finally at home in our very own lush Garden of Eden. For a while, we nested in this intoxicating, dense greenery, shaded from bright sunlight and harsh elements.

But the pull of gravity was always there, reminding us that this garden was forbidden to all but the Gods, and that the abyss was never too far away. What had looked like a double helix of joyful soaring now resembled a dogfight between predator and prey. I chased you in angry despair, you evaded me in painful confusion and shame.

And then you were gone. Where were you?

I saw you reappear and then disappear again through the clouds in the horizon, but I did not follow because somehow I knew I had to let you go. Rich, vibrant color and beauty faded to monochrome gray.  Gravity slowed me down to small, heavy steps that sometimes took such effort that I had to curl up in hibernating sleep. Where was I going?  I didn’t know. The sky felt vast and I felt so small and lacking in direction.  Relentless showers beat down on me and washed layers of grime and grit.

One day I woke up to the pastel light of exhausted peace. You were a faint echo once more. A freshly-scented draft caressed my face and I drew a deep breath that filled my body with clean air.  I spread my wings carefully and found myself lifted into the blue void.

In this new place, I noticed sweet, subtle smells, my eyes caught tiny brilliant flowers nestled in the cracks of the open landscape below me.  The wind lifted me lovingly, as if to remind me that it had been there all along to carry me.  I twirled and danced for the simple joy of it.  This Big Unknown had a presence in it I had not felt before. Your absence no longer felt like a gaping void in my heart, just a soft, beautiful sadness. Moments of gratitude trickled into my heart – you left me so I could feel the Big Love that exists in the simple sacred fact of just Being. I knew that I had done the right thing to let you go.  Love did not have to be chased.  It had never left me.

This is a very personal piece I wrote last year which, only now, did I feel had reached its time to be  published. I hope this speaks to those of you whose soul journey has traveled through the cracking open through heart break to reveal another world.


SOUL SEED COLLECTIVE is a (hopefully) monthly blog on thoughts and ideas

by Titina van Hoorn from  spj logodark silver nuff sm

Titina van Hoorn is an artist, jeweler, life coach, energy healing practitioner, lover of words, dancer, mother and soul-seeker, who feels passionate about exploring the journey of the soul with all of its twists, turns and mysteries and supporting others who have chosen this rich path.  She can  be reached at or in Facebook on her Soul Piece Jewelry page.


There are times we need a meaningful TOUCHSTONE to remind us who we truly are and where we want to go during those parts of our life journey when we appear to be lost or in darkness…

My  upcoming “Seed of Potential”  workshop may be for you if  you are interested in creating a talisman for your own sacred soul journey.

For information and tickets, click on the image below:

SoP RebeccaSeed of Potential workshop tickets on Eventbrite


A New Take on New Beginnings


At the beginning of every year I make it an important part of my New Year’s ritual to set aside time to allow my visions and goals to come through for the coming year. This year has been different – in fact, the whole of last year turned my personal life paradigm upside down. It began in January of last year when I revved myself up in typical Titina fashion to inspire and fuel myself with THE NEXT GRAND VISION. And it crashed and burned before it even got off the ground. Not that it wasn’t a feasible or worthy cause. Just that my inner motivation changed. Maybe it’s because I’m approaching 50 this year and the hot fires of my younger years are not as sustainable as they were (well, the recovery time seems to take a lot longer – like recovering from a hangover).

It was a very tough year. I let go of what I thought motivated me – pursuing the creative dream, the next shiny object, the next dopamine-inducing endeavor, I either lost interest quickly, failed to have the enormous energy I’d used in the past to get it off the ground (a lot of “pushing” energy), or it was “taken away” from me. The biggest of all of these was the slow and apparent deterioration of one of the most significant and passionate intimate relationships that I have had in my life with someone I considered to be my soul mate and who I felt would be my last love relationship in this lifetime (the love never deteriorated, just the fantasies and form of expectations I had built around it). Continue reading

The Grounding of the Soul


Dear Soul Seeders,

As the crazy (for me) season of summer is coming to a close in the Northern Hemisphere, I wanted to share with you the latest lessons and reflections of my journey. Where I live, in a special little town in North Idaho, for many the summer season tends to be a wild explosion of music, celebration, outdoor activities, art events and social events. At any given moment, there is so much to choose from to celebrate that we’re out of the often-too-lengthy months of cold and grey weather. The energy of the hot sun creates the desire for constant activity outside of one’s being, and one can feel like the brightly-colored Fourth of July fireworks, exuberant, loudly appearing and then fading back into the night sky, an exciting yet ungrounded experience.


Not having started the summer grounded in any particular routine around my kids and my work as well as in other issues of my life (some of it was bad organization on my part), I found that as the summer wore on, that I continued to spin out wildly, culminating in a meltdown of sorts. (It so happens that the region was experiencing the effects of an almost unprecedented number of wildfires.)  Not everyone reacts this way when off balance, but it is possible that I needed this utter breakdown and plunge into frightening darkness to ensure a recalibration of my Being, a surrender of sorts.

Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet
confinement of your aloneness
to learn

anything or anyone
that does not bring you alive

is too small for you.

‘Sweet Darkness”
From River Flow
New and Selected Poems
© David Whyte and Many Rivers Press

I sought a coach to work with, who had me begin a practice of grounding myself. Now that I am a few weeks into self-healing, I have been reflecting on the nature of grounding on a personal as well as social level. There is too much to cover in one post but I wanted to leave you with some thoughts that I hope will lead to discussion.

  • In many healing traditions, the root chakra is characterized by the color red and it symbolizes connection to the Earth. If in balance, it can bring on a feeling that one is safe and held in this world. This can bring healing to issues around safety, being provided for, financially, emotionally or otherwise. How would we treat ourselves, each other and the Earth if we were more aware of this connection?
  • How would this connection from our root to the Earth change the pace with which we lead our lives? Would we feel  greater synchronization with the cycles of the seasons and the land that we live on and spend less time pushing agains the rhythms of our own connected Nature?

How do you (if at all) ground yourself in your everyday life? How does that nurture you? I’m continuously open to ideas!! 

Here are some resources in my own search:

Looking forward to our collective discussions,signaturedark silver nuff sm


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is offering a 20% discount on its Seeds of Potential product. As a you enter the fall and winter season, gift yourself a piece that will serve as a Touchstone to your Dreams.

For more information and/or to order, click here or on the image and mention the Soul Seed Collective offer.

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Design your own special precious metal talisman 


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When: Saturday, September 19th

Where: Sandpoint, ID – exact location TBA

Time: 10 am – 2:30 pm

Cost: $65 + $20 materials

In this workshop you:

•will be will be guided to do some PLAYFUL exploration that will include journaling, movement and collage to inspire you to design your unique piece
•will be taught a simple jewelry technique to create your own piece in FINE SILVER with a choice of additional materials
•will complete your own, UNIQUE piece to wear and TAKE HOME that may serve as an inspiration for your daily life.


Let me help you explore your Purpose and create a unique and powerful Touchstone for your journey!

To sign up, email

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